If you have a kid who is applying to college you know that November 1 is the deadline to apply to most schools. Why November 1, you may have wondered, it seems so random? Well, I’ve decided it’s just another way to make Halloween much scarier. Sure, Halloween is full of frightening scenarios—haunted houses, slasher movies, costumes dripping with fake blood—but, nothing is as scary as dealing with your kids as they navigate the college application process.
It’s enough to give a parent nightmares.
Last week, for instance, I dreamt that the University of Wisconsin at Madison denied my application for admission.
Denied! Not even wait listed!!
No matter how much I pleaded with the admissions officers they wouldn’t budge. It didn’t matter that I already had an undergrad degree—and a law degree!
“We are a very selective school,” the admissions officer reminded me. “You will have to do better.”
(FYI: I didn’t go to the University of Wisconsin, I didn’t apply to the University of Wisconsin, my son has not applied to the school nor does he want to go there so I’m not even sure why I’m dreaming about that school.)
As if that wasn’t bad enough, last night I had a dream that I was admitted to some nameless/faceless school but once I got there I couldn’t leave.
No matter what mode of transportation I chose, I couldn’t get off that campus: I fell down when I was running away, the car wouldn’t turn on, the elevator wasn’t working, the taxi I got in kept bringing me back to the dorm. You name it, it happened to me. I was in my very own clichéd horror movie.
So, you may ask, why am I having these nightmares? I’m not the one with the looming deadlines and the multiple essays yet to be written.
I’m having nightmares because somehow we parents have been roped into this process, a process that we have no business being part of. My parents didn’t even realize that I had sent in my college applications until I got my acceptance letters. They didn’t know what the essay topics were nor did they need to remind me to proof my application to check for stupid mistakes – that was all on me.
But now our kids talk to us about the process every step of the way. And, we parents get constant email updates from the high school’s college counselor’s office letting us know what our kids need to get done and when. Why can’t they just harass the students and leave us out of it??
I understand that the college admissions process has become ridiculously stressful for the students. Kids don’t apply to a couple of schools anymore; they apply to 10, or 12 or 15. And each application requires an essay (or three), and it really is a very big and very expensive decision. The kids are stressed and this stress is spilling into other areas of their lives—including the dreams of their parents.
Thankfully, this process will be over soon. Then I can go back to having dreams about him being away from home and nightmares about how I won’t be able to reach him…
*Originally published at Manilla.com on 10/31/13