Archive for the ‘boys’ Category

Life Lesson: Teen Dating

Dear Sons –

I know we’ve talked a lot about dating before (even when you didn’t ask my opinion) but I wanted to give you your own handy-dandy written “Guide” in case you are ever wondering what I would tell you and I’m not around. Call it, Mom’s Guide to Dating.

Don’t roll your eyes.

Here goes:

  1. Don’t be an asshole. You heard me. If I find out that you are treating your significant other badly I will personally kick your ass.
  1. Don’t be a doormat. This is not the opposite of being an asshole. Don’t always give in to your significant other just to keep the peace. If she wants to see Star Wars and you want to see Inside Out make an argument for why you should pick the movie this time. Or compromise – there’s nothing wrong with compromise. If she insists that you always give in – move on. Don’t sell your soul.
  1. Move forward at a mutually agreed pace. No one should dictate how quickly a relationship progresses. Both parties need to be comfortable.
  1. Laugh – a lot. Not at her (or at anyone, for that matter), but with her. Remember, if you guys can’t laugh at the stuff that makes each of you smile – move on.
  1. Don’t let Hallmark be your guide for gift giving. I personally hate Valentine’s Day (as you know). Your father has not been allowed to give me a gift on Valentine’s Day for the 25 years we’ve been married. Sure, for a few years he tried to give me flowers the day after Valentine’s Day but, no…just don’t. One caveat: if the person you are dating LOVES Valentine’s Day or Sweetest Day or any of the other made up holidays (yes, I’m holding back a comment) you should acknowledge the day with something (just remember that the florists jack up the prices on Valentine’s Day so don’t blow a paycheck on a dozen red roses – especially if she is demanding them). Remember, it’s the thought that counts.
  1. It’s the little things that matter. I swear.
  1. Find someone who likes to do the stuff you like to do (but not necessarily everything you like to do – see #8 below). Your dad and I bonded over Chicago Blackhawks hockey, horse racing and eating out. It was a great place to start.
  1. Have separate interests (this is not the opposite of #7, above). Remember you are separate people. I do know couples who do EVERYTHING together and haven’t killed each other – yet. These are the outliers. It’s good to have separate interests – it gives you something to talk about and something to share – occasionally – with the person you are dating.
  1. DO NOT alienate your friends (make sure your girlfriend doesn’t alienate hers either). I lost many a friend over the years to the “I’m dating someone and I need to spend every waking moment with him/her because that’s what couples do.” Ugh. If your dad and I didn’t have our friends around I’m not sure if we could have been together this long. Sure, your dad and I do a lot together but I also like going to the theater (he only like musicals), running (he HATES running), dancing (he can’t dance), and overanalyzing just about everything (he has no patience). Similarly, I have zero interest in playing poker in Vegas, watching European soccer and skiing. That’s what our friends are for.
  1. Apologize when you do or say something stupid. No one is perfect and mistakes will be made. Just don’t make it a pattern of do-something-stupid-apologize-later. Then you are just being an asshole (see #1 above). Also, if you are dating someone who is stuck in that pattern – move on.
  1. If your relationship has run its course have a face-to-face conversation. No ghosting, no break up texts, no social media announcements – I don’t care what the media or your friends say is the norm nowadays. Anything short of a face-to-face conversation makes you a jerk. Yes, it will suck; yes, she may be really, really pissed; and, yes, you will potentially be hurting someone but eventually, when the scars have faded, at least she won’t be able to say you weren’t honest and respectful.
  1. Be honest, respectful and kind. Always.

Love,

Mom

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What would you add? What do you disagree with? Let me know!

 

Like this post? Caring is sharing…

 

 

Bad Parenting Behaviors to Let Go of in 2017

So, here we are, almost in February and I’m still contemplating what I want to work on this year. Not that I’m keen on resolutions. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever kept a New Year’s resolution and yet, I can’t stop myself from making them.

I have a problem with someone telling me what to do or not to do, which is weird, I know, since I’m the one making the resolution. There is something about saying out loud, “I will not eat sugar,” that causes me to make a beeline for the candy drawer.

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Finally, however, I think I’ve come up with a couple of things that I can get behind in 2017; two bad parenting behaviors that I can let go of this year and feel good about: not doing everything for my kids and not talking about them with other people.

Let’s start with the second one first.

I will not talk about my kids with other people.

You might think it’s odd that I have chosen not to talk about my kids with other people when I write a blog about my kids and share it with other people. Believe it or not, I write very little about what happens to my kids and when I do I tend to have their blessing. I’ve tried to make this blog about my bad behavior, because, well, I often suck as a parent and I want to be held accountable.

What I want to stop doing this year is sharing information about my kids that I know they won’t want me to share with anyone else but I do it anyway because I’m venting to my friends. Let’s face it, parenting is not easy and sometimes you need to talk about your failures or your kids’ bad behavior with someone else.

My advice? Choose your audience and your stories carefully.

How many of you have done this? Your kid is driving you bat-shit crazy and you run into a friend and proceed to offer too many details about your kid’s latest exploits thinking there is some sort of “mom code” that will prevent your friend from relaying the info to her kid who just happens to be your son’s or daughter’s good friend.

Next thing you know, your kid is pissed at you – as he or she should be – because the story you told has made it’s way back to your kid but with all sorts of embellishments.

It doesn’t matter if the story you told was totally benign or you thought it was just a funny story to tell your friend. It doesn’t matter if it was relayed exactly how you told it or whether the story made its way through a group with new and completely fabricated details (as these stories tend to do). Your kid feels betrayed and you feel like crap.

So, yes, I will be working on this behavior this year because last year I let my kid down and that really did suck.

I will not do everything for my kids this year

When my kids were little and I chose to stay at home with them I felt that it was my job to wait on them hand and foot and stifle their independence.

Oh, wait, that wasn’t the plan.

No, the plan was to stay at home to take care of them and be around to watch them grow. The problem with that plan was that I felt guilty about being a stay-at-home mom and I felt like the only job I had was to take care of the kids and the house. If someone else was doing those jobs what was I doing all day??

No one saddled me with this notion (except, maybe Hollywood and the media’s distorted images of women’s roles and my own upbringing, but I digress).

Every time I thought about passing on the laundry duty or forcing my kids to cook dinner I wondered what I was supposed to be doing in the void of activity. Eating bonbons? Watching TV with my feet up on the ottoman thumbing through magazines? Writing??

The problem, I realize now, was not with the job but with the job description that I had written.

Instead of thinking that my job as a mom was to cater to my boys’ every need, I should have recognized that my job was to help my kids become independent, capable adults who could handle their own cleaning/feeding/scheduling.

Duh.

Nearly 21 years into this parenting gig and I finally figure it out.

Obviously, I didn’t start out wanting my kids to be needy and dependent and, for the most part, even with all my failings, they are pretty capable (if I’m not around, of course). But now it’s time to let go of the guilt and rewrite my role. I will call my new title: Director of Creating Independence. I’m sure my kids will call my new role: Tyrant.

 

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What parenting behaviors do you hope to work on this year?

 

 

It’s the Holiday Season and, Really, Whoop De Doo* Because Well, Ugh.

I’ve asked around and it feels like there’s an epidemic of apathy this holiday season. It doesn’t matter what holiday is being celebrated it seems like everyone I talk to is trying to wish the holiday season away as quickly as possible.

All of a sudden Christmas and Hanukkah are days away and I am scrambling and stressed and wondering how the hell it’s the end of December already. I blame the mild temperatures in Chicago, where I live, for tricking me into thinking that the usual snowy holidays were months away instead of weeks. Or maybe it was the Chicago Cubs’ World Series win that made me feel like the end of the world was fast approaching so why bother with the gift shopping. Or maybe it’s just the news.

All I know is that I have a shopping list that needs to be dealt with, a closet full of presents that need to be wrapped, a stack of Holiday cards that need to be addressed and mailed, and absolutely zero motivation to tackle any of it.

What’s a girl who usually loves the holidays to do?

I’ve checked in with other folks who are feeling the madness and asked them how they are putting the “Happy” back in Happy Holidays. Before you go to your room and stay there until January 2 you might want to try some of these ideas first.

  1. Buy less stuff. In other words, stop shopping now. I need to stop looking at gift lists. Every time I do I find another thing that would be perfect for only $25.00! Do you know how quickly a bunch of useless $25.00 gifts add up? Ridiculous. Just stop.
  1. If you’ve already done most of your shopping try a trick that works well when you are preparing for a trip. Travel experts agree that if you lay out all of your clothes when you are packing you can usually put away half of what you thought you would need and still have too much. It’s the exact same thing with presents. Right now, put all of your purchases on the floor and return half of them.
  1. Plan an experience instead of buying more stuff. Fewer boxes, better memories.
  1. Skip the holiday cards if you haven’t made them or bought them already. You could send something to the relatives who never see your kids but do you really need to send one to all of your kids’ friends? One friend just posted a picture on social media of the holiday card she is sending to her far-flung family and friends. Another friend is opting for Happy New Year cards instead. If all else fails and you still want to send a card you could pull a Julia Child and send out Valentine’s Day card.
  1. Find time to spend with family that doesn’t involve gift giving. Watch a movie, cook together, play a game, go for a walk.
  1. Volunteer. You’ve probably heard it before but helping others really helps put the stress and the excesses of the holidays in perspective.

Wishing you all the best for this holiday season!

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*This is an actual song made famous by Andy Williams minus the “ugh” part

Our 2016 Favorite Things Holiday Gift List!

Yes, I know, there are a million gift lists out there right now and they all claim that they are the “Only lists you’ll need!”

I make no such proclamation.

I am simply offering up my family and friends’ favorite things* ala Oprah, sans the free giveaway because, well, as much as I would LOVE to give away everything on the list to everyone, I ain’t Oprah.

Instead, I hope that you can find something on the list to make your holiday shopping that much easier or at least get inspired by something you read. Because, to be honest, as much as I adore a gift list (and I read EVERY SINGLE ONE that I stumble on), I have rarely found the PERFECT gift. I have, however, found a perfectly good gift often by following a link provided on the list and tripping over something else on the page. So think of this as a treasure map of sorts – maybe you will find what you are looking for on this page or maybe it’s just a step in the right direction.

You’re welcome.

For the teen/college kid who is upgrading his wardrobe:

The Timex Weekender Watch

This is not a break the bank, pass-down-for-generations watch but a casual piece of jewelry that tells time. And the best part about this watch, besides the really reasonable price, is that you can easily add a different band and it looks like a new watch! Multiple presents!

 

For the kids who are constantly complaining that the WiFi is soooooooo slow:

A mesh networking home Wi-Fi System.

I sound like I know what I’m talking about, don’t I – but I really don’t. However, someone who does know what he is talking about suggested a mesh networking system to extend the Wi-Fi in our house. As much as I would like to say that our family spends oodles of time together reading and talking and not staring at screens, I can’t. Most of the time everyone in the house is streaming a video, playing video games, listening to music and sending and receiving texts/emails/documents all at the same time. So the WiFi doesn’t always work. And it doesn’t always work in certain spots. Hence, the constant complaining.

(Actually this also qualifies as a gift for the parents of the kids who complain that the wireless is so slow because they won’t hear the kids complain anymore…)

 

For the kid (or adult) who is always leaving things behind:

Tile

Just attach this bluetooth tracking device, set up the app and you are good to go. No more lost coats, backpacks, keys…

 

For that same kid who gets lost and might need to find his way home:

Latitude and Longitude key chain

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Ok, so this is more of a sentimental gift than an actual map, however, for the kid who is already away from home or leaving soon, this key chain says you will always help her find her way back home. (It’s still helpful, of course, in case they do forget your address and need to type the coordinates into their GPS).

 

For the kid who gets lost and has a flat tire:

AAA membership

Roadside assistance is not sexy, but when your kid is stranded and needs his car towed he will LOVE this gift.

 

For those times when you need to call for a tow truck but your phone is dead:

The LifeCard Power Bank cellphone charger

The credit card sized charger is being touted as the “World’s thinnest power bank,” which is great if you don’t want to lug around a heavy extra charger (and, really, who does). There is a tradeoff though: it’s small size doesn’t give my Iphone 6 a full charge but it will give it a boost. (FYI -the charger needs to be charged, too. I always forget that part and wonder why it doesn’t work).

 

For family movie night – inside or out:

A Home Theater Projector

Now THIS is really my favorite thing. I love movies and there is something so fun about being outside on a beautiful night watching a movie on a big screen – even if that screen is just the side of your house. You could get all of the accessories if you want (tripod screen, special speakers, designated stand) but our set up is pretty bare bones – no sheet, just the wall, and our kids’ old guitar amp for sound (although it also worked with a Beats Pill). Popcorn, however, is mandatory.

 

For your friend or relative who is always on the go:

Corkcicle Triple Insulated Water Bottle and Thermos

The Canteen comes in assorted colors and sizes and is great for staying hydrated on the fly. FYI – the 25 oz. thermos holds a full bottle of wine for the beach, an outdoor movie, or a tailgate…just saying.

 

For your friend, the world traveler:

A luggage tag that says it all

Although I am strictly a carry-on girl, I have one of these tags on my bag and it makes me chuckle every time I look at it.

 

For your ADULT friends who are tired of playing the kids’ games:

Cards Against Humanity

We borrowed this game from our oldest a few years ago and we laughed so hard we bought our own. It’s always good for hours of laughter but only if you are not opposed to raunchy, sometimes inappropriate humor. This is NOT a game for little kids as one of my friend’s thought – the manufacturer recommends this for 17 year-olds and up. Little kids should stick to Apples to Apples for now.

 

For the buttoned up folks in your life who like to flash a little leg every now and then:

Stance Socks

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The men in my house do not wear flashy clothes – they are jeans and t-shirt kind of guys. But their socks?  They have prints ranging from Darth Vader to the Chicago Cubs to bold Hawaiian flowers and multi-colored stripes. So, if you need something for a Sports fan, or a runner with a penchant for Star Wars, or a fashionista who appreciates a “Sassy Minnie” Mouse, you will find something for everyone, even for a golfer who loves Caddyshack. Really.

 

For the friend who needs an instant vacation:

Cocktail Kits

Nothing says, “Take me away!” like the smell of fresh limes, mint and a little rum (or maybe that’s just me). The Urban Agriculture Co. offers six grow your own cocktail kits like Mint Mojito and Basil Bourbon Smash. Each set includes one herb grow kit, a muddler, a mason jar cocktail shaker and straining spoon. Ahh…

 

For that certain someone who needs to wear corrective reading glasses but doesn’t want them to look like corrective reading glasses:

Eyebobs glasses.

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The ad says it all…

 

For your furriest child, aka the dog:

The Tuff Guy Tony squeaker mat from Outward Hound.

Tuff Guy Tony and his friends, Lars and Hank, have 11 squeakers (but they aren’t annoying, I swear) and, more importantly, they look hilarious. Even though our dog’s “Tuff Guy” has lost a little of his stuffing and he’s missing an eye, our pooch still carries him around and sleeps next to him.

 

The gift that keeps on giving:

Subscription boxes

Remember when the only subscription boxes you could give involved oranges and grapefruit sent from Florida? Now you can send just about anything and extend the holidays for a little while longer (which is just the way I like my celebrations: 3-6 months long). Last year we gave our younger son a three-month gift subscription to Loot Crate, “the Geek subscription box for gamers and nerds.” Big hit. I also sent my boys three months of beef jerky. Yes, 3 months of jerky. Fights ensued.

There are boxes out there to fill every interest including my faves, coffee and book subscriptions (hint, hint), and most subscription boxes can be set up for a single month delivery or up to an entire year of monthly gifts (a whole year of celebrating!).

 

For the soundtrack of your life:

Spotify gift subscription

Technically this isn’t a subscription box but it works the same way – a gift every month! Sure, you can sign up for Spotify for free but the premium account gives you on-demand, ad free, and offline music.  There are student and family accounts available, too.

 

For the Host who appreciates your sweet and spicy personality:

Honey and Syrup and Sriracha – oh my!

Forget the tired and sad bottle of wine that your friend will just repackage and bring to the next party she goes to; give her spicy maple syrup for her Christmas morning pancakes and you will definitely be invited back.

 

For some family togetherness:

Take a vacation. Anywhere. Drive or fly, it doesn’t matter, just try to get away – together. With one kid in college and one just a year and a half away from leaving for college, family time – forced or otherwise – is a rare commodity in our house. Even though family vacations aren’t always perfect, a few days away from the distractions of “real life” is a great gift for everyone in the family.

 

Feel free to share your favorite things in the comments section – I’m always on the lookout for the perfect gift.

Happy Shopping!

 

 

 

*Isuckasaparent and Connie Lissner receive no compensation for any of the products listed above and make no representations or warranties – either explicit or implied – as to the products listed herein. I just like them and I hope you like them too.

 

 

Why You Couldn’t Pay Me Enough To Go Back To High School


 

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I was flipping through channels on television the other day and came across the movie, Never Been Kissed, starring Drew Barrymore as a 25-year-old newspaper reporter who returns to high school for a story.

It’s not a horror film.

Ok, not really but it could be considered one by some because, really, who on earth would want to relive their high school days??

Don’t get me wrong. I actually liked high school when I was there. I had friends I really liked, classes I enjoyed and an all around good experience.

I still wouldn’t go back.

Even if I could go back knowing everything I know now (like, boys are not worth that much energy at that age and you should really only be friends with people who make you laugh), I still wouldn’t do it.

On the other hand, I’d go back to college in a heartbeatYou would think that college would be wrought with so much more pressure than high school, with the whole what are you studying because when you leave here you need a job to support yourself but I found that most people found their college experience to be a bit more liberating.. College was a time when everything seemed possible. We had the freedom to study whatever we wanted, to figure things out without 24/7 parental supervision, and to be who we wanted to be without feeling like we were under a microscope (even though, of course, no one was paying attention to anyone but themselves during high school).

Maybe it was the high school I went to or the school that my kids attend but at least for me, these are the top reasons why I would never, ever, even for a few million dollars, go back to high school:

  1. Being surrounded by people who have undeveloped pre-frontal cortices, aka being surrounded by people who do stupid shit all the time but can’t help themselves.

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  1. Algebra
  1. The boredom of taking the same classes Every. Single. Day. 180 days of Chemistry? Ugh.
  1. Taking classes that you have to take instead of taking classes that interest you. There are so many cool classes offered at my son’s high school—glass blowing! Shakespeare’s Literary Traditions! Forensic Science! Multi-variable calculus (Ha! Totally kidding. See #2 above)—but he won’t be able to take any of them. Between his high school’s requirements and the classes that colleges expect you to take in high school there is no room for the really out-of-the box electives.
  1. High school dances. First, there’s the anxiety over who to ask or whether you will be asked, then there’s the ridiculous need to ask your date creatively because NO ONE just says, “Hey, do you want to go to Homecoming?” anymore; then there’s the cost to attend a party that no one likes because, let’s face it, the dance is boring; and, of course, there is spending the entire evening with someone who you said yes to a month before the dance but now you can’t remember why you agreed. (See #1 above for a possible explanation).
  1. Having to wake up really early every day to go somewhere you would rather not be for at least another three hours (hmmm…that sounds a lot like a bad job).
  1. Gym class in the middle of the day where you have to run laps but there’s no time after running to shower. Seriously??
  1. Cliques, Mean Girls and Social Climbing. It starts early and often but the best part (or the worst depending on your perspective) is one’s clique or status in high school is sooooooooo irrelevant after graduation. If we could only get our kids to believe that.

 

How about you? Would you go back to high school if you could? Why or why not? What would you add to this list???

Parenting In An Age of Uncertainty

I spent the morning setting up emergency contact information on my boys’ phones and researching the best tracking app to add to my 16-year-old’s phone for his weekend at Lollapalooza, the outdoor music festival in Chicago. I also tried to show him a map of the venue and where I want him to head in case of an emergency but he’s not playing along.

Am I paranoid? Well, yeah.

Why wouldn’t I be? Every morning when I check the news there is another story about a shooting/bombing/attack where someone’s child has been killed. It doesn’t matter if the victim is 13 or 30 it’s still someone’s kid and somewhere, some parent is thinking that he or she did not do enough to protect their child.

But how are we supposed to do that exactly?

This morning I was greeted by the story of teenagers being shot in front of their parents as the kids left an all ages show in Fort Myers, Florida. So far reports say that it was not an act of terrorism.

It doesn’t make me feel any better.

My biggest worry used to be about a mass shooting at my boys’ schools but slowly I had to expand my list to include movie theaters, shopping malls, cafes, expressways and nightclubs. And no longer am I only concerned about the unstable lone gunman; now I have to worry about, as the Wall Street Journal noted, terrorists engaging in “indiscriminate targets in civilian life, with the goal of killing as many people as possible.”

I have a hard enough time protecting my boys from injuries caused by sports and and their own stupidity.

As much as I joke about wrapping my kids in bubble wrap and keeping them home there is no way I can really protect them short of locking them in my house (although it still may not be enough for some people).

My younger son thinks I’m an overprotective pessimist. I prefer the term “planner.” Yes, I absolutely recognize that all the planning in the world cannot prevent the unexpected, and, unfortunately, the truly unexpected is fast becoming the new norm. I do believe, however, that having some plan might help – me, that is, because I need to have something.

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As if a weekend concert isn’t enough to put me over the edge, my older son is leaving for a semester abroad in Europe in less than a month. It is taking everything in me to let him go. Granted he’s 20 and I probably have little say in the matter but I have contemplated—on more than one occasion—not paying the tuition bill. “Sorry, check got lost in the mail, I guess you can’t go.”

I’ve also considered bribing him with a shiny new car or just a plain ol’ bag of cash. I can’t even imagine him being so inaccessible at a time when the world is so unpredictable.

Of course the world was never “predictable.” Accidents happen, things get stolen, much is out of our control. But, as a parent I worry about it all.

I didn’t really get it until I became a parent. I traveled to Rome 30 years ago for a semester abroad and flew into the same airport where terrorists shot and killed 13 people just weeks before I arrived.

I still can’t believe my parents let me go.

A few months later the US was attacking Libya and we were on high alert for attacks on Americans. I know my parents were worried about me and they didn’t have cell phones, the Internet or Facebook’s Safety Check to stay touch in case of an emergency. I will never forget when I returned home from that trip that my dad’s hair had turned completely white in my absence. Sure, maybe it was time for his hair to go gray but I’m pretty sure it was stress-induced premature graying.

I totally get it now.

So, yes, barring any unforeseen developments in the next month my son go to Europe and my hair, like my dad’s, will turn completely gray while he is gone. I will attempt to arm him with information and help him prepare for the worst even if it seems pointless. I will force him to seek out the American Embassy when he gets to his destination (or I will cut off funding—fast); I will find contacts throughout Europe to formulate an evacuation plan; I will reiterate (over and over and over again) that he should avoid crowds, travel during off times and always be aware of his surroundings and I will hope that all my planning and worrying was for naught.

As for the outdoor concert this weekend, I’ve done what I can. Now I’m just hoping for severe thunderstorms and flooding of the venue. A girl can dream can’t she??

It’s Official: I’m Useless-ish

I’ve become irrelevant.

No, really. Apparently, when I wasn’t looking, my children grew up and they no longer need me.

A good thing, I know, but still.

See, last week my youngest got his license. Finally! I thought as I sat in Hell’s waiting room the DMV. No more days broken up by a kid’s schedule. No more trying to finish work, clean the house, run errands and prep dinner during the two hour window between shuttling back and forth to practices or during the surprisingly short block of time between morning drop off and afternoon pick up from school.

And, most importantly, no more late night pickups from friend’s houses!

Yay!

I would finally be able to don my pjs before 10 pm and not have to worry about running out in said pjs and being pulled over by a cop who would assume that I had been drinking or that I stole the car simply because I look like a vagrant. No silk robe or adorable short sets for me. No, my choice of sleepwear consists of a ratty old pair of shorts, a faded t-shirt and a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt I stole from my brother in high school. Pair that with my drooping sleep-deprived eyelids and my mop of hair and you can understand my fear of being mistaken for a drifter.

Those days are over!

So imagine my surprise when my son got his license and drove away from me for the first time and my first thought was: Wait! What? Driving you everywhere and bitching about it is my job!

Just like that. After 16 years as a chauffeur my services were no longer needed. I’d been unceremoniously let go.

Wow.

The running joke in our house is that I am constantly trying to get fired from this mom gig. When I cook a mediocre meal or I forget to wash someone’s favorite shirt I beg my family to fire me. “I’m just no good at this job,” I say. “Go ahead, fire me. I’ll be ok.”

But I didn’t really mean it.

I read somewhere that our job as a parent is to make our job as a parent unnecessary. We are supposed to give our kids all of the skills they need to do all of the things we do for them so they can go live productive adult lives and not need to call us to figure out how to boil water. (That’s what YouTube is for).

You teach them things, like how to read, write, use the bathroom on their own, cross the street, organize their homework, feed themselves something (anything!) and do laundry because you want them to be free of you and a little part of you wants to be free of all of that crap, too.

Be careful what you wish for.

I don’t think it matters if you are a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home dad, or a mom or dad who works full time or part time, most parents just want to take care of their kids. They want to nurture and dote on their kids and part of doing that is by doing things for their kids. However, when your kids no longer need you to do things for them it is both gratifying (Yay! Job well done!) and bittersweet (Who will I read a bedtime story to now??).

I’m, of course, not talking about the mind-numbing or gross stuff that they eventually can do on their own (believe me, I never felt nostalgic for the diaper changing days) but the stuff that is occasionally fulfilling. Like driving them around. As their private driver I felt my kids were safe(r) if I was driving. I also had the best conversations with my kids while driving since they did not feel the pressure of having a face-to-face conversation. And, (probably the best part) I could eavesdrop on carpool conversations. For whatever reason, kids forget that you exist when you are the driver and they talk about things they would never, ever normally say in front of you.

Sigh. Those days are over.

Now I will just need to be satisfied with my new, pared down job description. My job has been streamlined not eliminated entirely because it’s feeding time at our house (otherwise known as lunch) and as I write this my 20-year-old son just asked what there is to eat.

I guess I’m not completely irrelevant after all.

PICT0127

Bye, Mom!

 

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