i suck as a parent navigating motherhood one day at a time

When my kids were little summer break seemed to never end (how many times can one mom help set up and clean up a lemonade stand??). But then, as the kids got older it seemed like I never saw them much. Between day camp, trips to the pool, and hanging with friends those long summer days went by in a flash. I learned very early to schedule some family time or our summer breaks and any extended free time with our kids was gone before we could say, “Who’s up for a family game night?”

Now, with one of our sons off to college in the fall and one newly graduated from college and off on his own soon, I feel even more desperate to spend time as a family. So I  compiled a list of possible summer activities–some tried and true, some that I have on the list every year and never get around to–with the intention of checking every last item off the list this year (I swear!).

In case you are looking for inspiration, I shared my list with Collegiate Parent. Even if you only take one idea from the list – or maybe just take away the idea of making a list – try to squeeze in some family time with your college kids this summer. It really does go by in the blink of any eye.

http://www.collegiateparent.com/starting-college/parenting/a-summer-bucket-list-for-college-families/

We are always looking for more ideas. What activities would you add?

Did you hear Yanny or Laurel?

That’s the question on everyone’s mind right now (ok, maybe there are other things on your mind but this might be one of them). If you don’t know what I’m talking about go here and listen, then come back and tell me what you heard. Go on, I’ll wait.

What did you hear? Actually, it doesn’t matter what you heard because there are people in both camps – much like that blue/black or white/gold dress from last year. The whole thing is weird though, right? How can we see or hear something completely different from someone else? Does that mean that we always hear or see different things from each other?? Is the color that I call “blue” the same color that you call blue??

Now, if you think that was strange, there’s another auditory illusion sweeping the internet called Brainstorm/Green Needle. What’s really odd about this one though isn’t that you and I might hear something different while listening to the clip together, it’s that you and I will will hear different things just by thinking different things. As you listen to the clip, think either Brainstorm or Green Needle and see what you hear. For kicks, try hearing Brain Needle or Green Storm. Try it here and come back.

I know! It’s so disturbing!

Now, I can wrap my brain around the scientific basis for why we each may hear something different when we are listening to the Yanny/Laurel clip (something about frequencies and how information is recorded by the ear and interpreted by the brain), but this other clip had me stumped. How is it possible that just thinking something can make you hear something different?

Well, a friend she set me straight. She explained that we parents have been dealing with this phenomenon since our kids were old enough to understand what we were asking of them.

This is different than selective hearing, it’s “wishful-hearing.” My kids haven’t been tuning me out, they were just creating a different reality. For instance, when my kids were little I would say, “Please don’t throw food at your brother,” but clearly my boys were thinking, “Please throw food at your brother,” so that’s what they heard me say. Similarly, when I now say, “please walk the dog,” my son is probably thinking, “Mom will walk the dog,” so that’s what he hears.

Try this one, too. Go tell your kid to do something and then ask what he or she heard you say. I bet it has nothing to do with what you said.

The great thing about this theory is that you can’t take it personally. It’s not about your kid being disrespectful or ignoring you, it’s about a different reality. Thankfully, it works both ways. Go get one of your kids and tell them to ask you for something, like money. As your daughter says the words, “Can I have $20?” I want you to think that she’s saying, “I am going to look for a better job so next time I need $20 I can take it out of my own bank account instead of asking you?”

See, wishful-hearing. It works for everyone.

Are you eagerly anticipating the day your college kid returns home for the summer? Are you imagining smiles and laughter and months filled with joy??

Brace yourself.

Whether this is the first time you will experience a college kid’s return for the summer or your eighth, you need to be prepared. And I don’t just mean with a fully stocked fridge. I mean mentally and emotionally because no matter how excited you are to see your kids after they’ve been gone for so long there is bound to be a bumpy transition.

Here are my tips – from my latest post on Collegiate Parent – to help you Brace for Reentry.

Bracing For Reentry: The Return Of Your College Student For Summer

How do you prepare for the return of your kids?

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I have two seniors – one graduating from high school and one graduating from college. Both are barreling toward that (figuratively) dark time in the school year – that time when the sun is finally shining, summer seems this close, and no one, not just seniors, wants to buckle down and study.

Yep, it’s that time again – second semester finals.

I feel like I have the same conversation with my boys around this time every year: “It’s just four weeks. You can do anything for four weeks.” or “Yes, I know you’ve run the calculations and if you fail the test you won’t fail the class but do you really think that’s the best option?” and “Yes, I know, finals are stupid.”

I get it. I remember not being able to focus and thinking that there was no way I could fit another bit of information into my brain let alone remember any of it for a test. I dreamed of chucking all my books in the garbage can on the way out of the library and running away from campus.

If your kids are also feeling the pull of summer and struggling to get through the semester – whether they are freshman in high school or about to graduate from college – feel free to pass along these Seven Survival Strategies For Finals (and the end of the semester) that I wrote for Collegiate Parent.  Because sometimes all your kid needs is a sounding board and a plan.

7 Finals Survival Strategies To Help Students Finish The Semester Strong