Archive for August, 2013

27 Aug

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Posted by I suck as a parent in back-to-school, boys, children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting, school, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , .

No, it’s not Christmas, it’s back-to-school time!!

I have always loved back-to-school time but as I’ve gotten older my reasons for loving it have changed.

When I was a kid I loved shopping for supplies and buying new fall clothes. I still get the itch to buy a nubby sweater in mid-August just so I have something new for school. And, of course, I loved buying school supplies because there is nothing better than a brand new box of 64 Crayola crayons. (Burnt Sienna and Periwinkle will always have a special place in my heart).

Then, once I had kids, back-to-school time was equally exciting because the kids were excited (and I could buy Crayola crayons again- yea!). Everything was new: New teachers! New classrooms! And, even though their friends lived within a two-block radius and they spent their days together at the park the kids still couldn’t wait to see their friend IN SCHOOL and have recess IN SCHOOL!

As the kids have grown, all of our attitudes toward back-to-school have changed.  I still buy school supplies – but they are no longer as interesting to buy. Now it’s more like a scavenger hunt. Do you know how hard it is to find a composition book filled with 4×4 graph paper? I don’t think it actually exists. I think the teacher just puts it on the list because he hates us.

And the kids don’t even look forward to school anymore. First of all, they no longer get recess which, lets face it, was always the best part of school and second, they don’t need to go to school to see their friends because they are always at my house.

Which is why I’m singing Christmas songs.

The most wonderful time of the year has to be back-to-school time because I get my house back – at least from Sunday night through Friday afternoon.

Don’t get me wrong; I like that my kids have their friends over but there are times when I would really, really (really) like to put on my pajamas at 8:00 pm and sit on my family room couch within striking distance of the fridge.

We have a basement but it’s not very large so the 15-20 kids who end up at my house are usually sprawled on my family room couch. Even if they are in the basement I don’t want them to come upstairs to find me in my Mickey Mouse pajama top dipping into a box of cereal with a white wine chaser.

Some things are really best done privately.

The problem isn’t just that these kids are at my house all night. It’s that our youngest has his friends over from the time he wakes up until dinner, when his older brother’s friends are just arriving.

You are probably wondering why I just don’t kick them out – tell them to find someone else’s house to hang out in.

Then you are clearly not the parent of teenagers.

I want them here because I know where they are and who they are with. If I kick them out, even once, I’m afraid they will end up at the house where no one strolls through the kitchen casually making eye contact to check for dilated pupils or smelling for beer and tequila.

And, so, I put up with the inconvenience of eating popcorn (and sometimes dinner) in my bed with my comfy clothes on—but no pajamas—and I patiently wait for the “Hap, Happiest Season of All”: Back to School.

2 Aug

On My Next Family Trip – I Leave My Family Behind

Posted by I suck as a parent in boys, children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting, Summer travel, Uncategorized.

My family is leaving for a two-week trip to Greece tomorrow so naturally I have been on the computer all morning trying to find a way to shorten the trip and fly home early.

No one really wants to go on this trip – which would have been nice to know before we booked it – but that would have been too easy. Here are some of the complaints I’ve heard so far:

–       “It’s going to be soooooo hot.”

–       “My friends are doing all these cool things while I’m gone, like camping and salsa dancing” (salsa dancing? seriously?)

–       “I need to talk to my girlfriend and the internet will be spotty.”

–       “It sounds boring – why couldn’t we go to Italy instead; they have a gladiator school?”

–       “Aren’t there riots there?”

I don’t necessarily want to go either, but I’ve been to Greece so it’s not like I need to see it. I just thought it was time for my kids to explore their roots.

I am a 100% first-generation Greek and I haven’t been to Greece in over 20 years.  My husband and my kids have never been to Greece – they’ve never met my cousins or met my aunts and uncles who are the last of my father’s siblings and are not going to be around much longer.

Besides, I thought my kids would want to go to Greece. They LOVE Greek Mythology! The Percy Jackson books sparked my kids love of reading so I figured Greece would be exciting for them.

Apparently, seeing the actual Temple of Poseidon does not trump going to a Chicago Cubs baseball game with friends.

I should have known better.

As I lay in bed last night trying to figure out an alternate plan for this vacation I had an epiphany: I don’t need to take my kids on any more of our extravagant vacations. They can get to all these places one day on their own.

Seriously, what have I been thinking?

My kids like to travel (usually) and it’s become the only guaranteed family time we can grab—no friends, no sports—so I like the idea of taking a family vacation but really, do I need to fly them to a different continent? They would be happy going to Disney.

I don’t even know if my youngest remembers going to London and Paris when he was seven-years-old or if he even remembers traveling to Australia a couple of years ago (hands-down, the greatest vacation ever!) So, although I like to say that I’m taking my kids on these trips so they can see the world, it’s so I can see the world…and not go to Disney.

My parents didn’t take me on exotic vacations when I was a kid. Although my trips to Greece sound exotic, those vacations were not filled with days of swimming in crystal clear water and hiking amid the beautiful scenery. They involved sitting in my uncle’s flat in Athens listening to my parents catch up with my relatives.

Crazy fun for a kid; let me tell you.

So when I plan trips with my kids, I try to include all of these great activities that they will enjoy just so they can have these great vacation memories…that they won’t remember anyway!

So screw it. No more planning “teen friendly” vacations. No more working around their school and sports schedules. Besides, I can cut the cost of these vacations in half if I leave the two kids home.

And by 75% if I leave my husband at home.

But that’s a blog for another day…